Growing Schizophrenic

"You know I hear you."
"What else is new."
"Shut up."
"I can't moron, you shut up."
"I can barely tell the difference anymore."
"Between who is who?"
"..."
"Hah! I knew it. You'll be mine eventually. Can't even think straight can you?"
"I'm just tired..."
"Liar."
"... I didn't sleep."
"You did. Even thought it's riddled with nightmares, you slept. You're not tired. You're insane."
"Whatever."
"She's over you."
"Whatever."
"So you've stopped putting out intelligent thought?"
"Not for the likes of you."
"I am you."
"You wish you were me."
"Who are you?"
"..."
"You don't even know."
"...Whatever."
"Are you going to sleep? You have a long day tomorrow."
"Yea! Your friend, Kailey. She's coming over."
"Yea, she's loud. I don't like her."
"Yes we do. She's been our friend for forever."
"But she's annoying."
"And dramatic."
"Don't refer to us as we. OR us! I am me and not you. Any of you."
"We don't see it that way. We love us. It makes us happy, neh?"
"Great, now you're making me sound like 'royalty'."
"We used to think we were royalty in a way."
"Knock it off."
"We don't like your tone."
"I don't like you."
"Haha you just got burned."
"..."
"She's quiet. Maybe 'We' isn't such a bad idea right?"
"..."
"Silence. She agrees."
"No she doesn't."
"She isn't getting pissed."
"She isn't resisting."
"..."
"See! She moved."
"So? She moved because she was breathing dumbass."
"It counts."
"Bullshit."
"Bahahaha, look she does have tears."
"Oh, I was beginning to think she had just died."
"That'd be the day."
"Oh so she wants the scars? I thought they were figurative."
"They are dumbass."
"Hello? Anyone home?"
"Bahaha."
"Just leave her be."
"Since when do you care?"
"I don't. But it's not fun to tease when she's not pissed."
"Oh. She's cold."
"Cold? It's hot. She's sweating."
"No, dumbass! Her heart. Baha she always knew she was cold."
"Oh, she's not crying then.
"Naw, she wouldn't dare shed a tear. There's not enough tears for them to drip."
"Cold."
"Eh, whatever."
"..."
"Hello?"
"So 'We' is okae?"
"..."
"There she goes again."
"Ugh."
"You're no fun anymore."
"Who says I have to entertain you creeps?"
"Callign yourself a creep?"
"No! But she calls herself a whore!"
"Bahahahaha!"
"She's just a shameless flirt."
"I don't know. She's pretty whoreish sometimes."
"She's still a virgin dumbass."
"True."
"Wonder if that's why her girl-"
"Shut uuuupppp you're gonna make her stay this quiet. It's no fun."
"There's no one to tease."
"She's ending it?"
"After all the trouble she went through?"
"Pity."
"Shame."
"You don't ever want to see her?"
"No, are you kidding? She misses everything about her, that'd be stupid."
"I'm hungry."
"I wonder if I ate dinner."
"Did we?"
"Naw, oh, wait, we did."
"Hm, I wonder if we-"
The food was good. I'm caving watermelon now. But fish sounds good too. I wonder if my sister is sleeping downstairs? I don't remember eating breakfast. What time is Kailey coming over? They went away. Life sucks. No I should be glad to have it. I was supposed to be dead. I'm not supposed to exist. Smile, you're alive. Tie to change the page again. Remove everything. That's what you always do. It's better that way. Is it better that way? Matt doesn't think so. I don't know. Haha no one cares. Even my mom doesn't want to hear my shit. Matt I need you right now. Zach doesn't care about me. Life is busy. Kailey is going to be too hyper. I can't stand the chaos. My heart is too chaotic. I crave a good popsicle. I wish I had sea-salt ice cream right now. Teddy is falling apart again. I need to finish my cosplay. I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't feel like it. The baboo tablet is there, I should color my drawing. The moon, I can't find it. Flowers are beautiful... I keep getting goosebumps and shivers. Someone is watching me. I'm afraid. I always feel like I'm going to die at any second. I've only felt completely at peace once and it was so wonderful that I killed it myself, because I couldn't take leaving my chaos behind. Now I know that I'll never have that chance again. I sound insane, neh? Those were voice in my head... I always hear them. The ost I've had is 4. I hate mosquitoes. My "y" button is broken. The "r" button sticks. I miss Matt and Raven... they're so comforting. I wish I were a guy sometimes, but then I'd be gay because I like guys too much. I flirt with too many people. My heart always hurts. My shoulders are rock hard. My head always aches. My stomach has been acidy. I clench my jaw. I miss my old self. I love Secret, she's my old me. I feel like I have to change her or at least make another side to her because my spirit just died. I was just getting it back too. I miss the energy I feel at the beach. Raw energy from the dawn of time. I need help, but I don't know with what or how to get it. No one believes I need help. No one knows how to give it. I'll shut up because no one cares. I love you if you read this. I have problems but I don't really know what they are. The people I fall in love with are always "wrong" for me.